and the tears come streaming down your face
by The Original Horcrux
Summary: "Javi?" Ryan asks, "Javi what is it." Esposito whispers a thank you into the receiver and hangs up the call, swallowing thickly he looks with pained eyes at the three people standing before him, his eyes averted from Castle's. "It's Beckett," he whispers... and the world crumbles down around him. / - AU Post-Ep for 6x17


_AU: Post-Ep 6x17 – In the Belly of the Beast_

* * *

It's midnight when the call comes into the precinct.

A woman has been murdered in Scarsdale, a case originally assigned to the 51st precinct has now become one of their own when she was identified by the Homicide detective who had once been a uniform at the 12th.

Detective Kate Beckett, bound, gagged, soaking wet and with a cylindrical bullet hole between her eyes.

Esposito's face turns white as Detective Hammond breaks the news to him over the phone. Ryan, Castle and Gates look on in concern as Esposito struggles to find words after the initial disbelieving "what?!" that left his lips. They can hear the other voice on the end of the line but Esposito isn't responding.

"Javi?" Ryan asks, "Javi what is it."

Esposito whispers a thank you into the receiver and hangs up the call, swallowing thickly he looks with pained eyes at the three people standing before him, his eyes averted from Castles.

"It's Beckett," he whispers. The three of them know what's coming even before he says it. Castle's knees crumple beneath him as his world comes crashing down around him. Ryan lets out a yell of anguish and kicks the door frame, Gates runs her hands through her hair, letting out a string of curse words as angry tears well in her eyes.

"Where?" Ryan asks, anger and venom lacing every syllable, "Where is she?"

"Scarsdale National Park," Esposito whispers, "Detectives from the 51st are there now."

Ryan and Gates are gone from the room before Esposito finishes his sentence.

Castle struggles to breathe as he tries to rise to his feet to go after them. She's not dead, she can't be. Not after all she's been through. He staggers sideways into Gates' desk, knocking notes from the case everywhere. He feels Esposito beside him, steadying him.

"I'm so sorry, bro," Esposito says. His voice is strained, softer than normal and Castle can hear the pain behind the words. The pain he's holding back because he knows that crying won't help Castle's situation.

"I need to… see her," Castle manages, "It's just the guys at the 51st playing a joke. I'm sure of it."

"Bro, I don't think that's a good idea," Esposito says, blocking his friend's exit.

"She's not dead, Zito!"

"She is, Castle! Hammond… he sounded broken. Beckett helped Hammond when his mom died, they were close… Hammond wouldn't do something like this."

"Take me to Scarsdale," Castle demands, his head spinning. Esposito knows there's no arguing with him as the older man pushes past him and runs towards the elevator. He runs after him, squashing the tears that threaten to burst forth. He can cry later, when Castle isn't around.

* * *

Ryan breaks about thirty traffic rules driving up to Scarsdale. The sirens wail at the loudest volume possible as he whizzes through red light after red light, cars scattering all over the place as he weaves in and out of the traffic, flooring the accelerator as Gates yells into her cellphone beside him to get all units on red alert. He doesn't know what for, he's not listening. He just knows he has to get to Scarsdale and he has to get to Scarsdale now.

He makes the forty-five minute journey in less than fifteen. It doesn't take them long to find the crime scene. It's where all the police are.

Ryan hasn't even turned off the ignition as he throws open the door, fumbling for his badge in the inside pocket of his coat, holding it ahead of him as he runs past the uniforms, ducking under the crime tape and sprinting towards the huddle of detectives and floodlights.

And there she is.

Kate Beckett, her eyes open and glassy, the stars that she looked up at reflected in eyes that no longer saw. He hears yelling and it takes him a moment to realise that it's his own.

He feels a hand on his shoulder as tears cascade down his face. After everything she'd been through, she met her end through an assignment with her own job.

He draws in a deep breath and fights to compose himself. He has to find who did this to her, and he _will_ find who did this to her. And then he's going to put them in the ground once and for all.

* * *

Gates feels like she's going to throw up when she sees the body of her best detective lying still and unmoving on the leafy forest floor.

She put her in this situation.

She was the one who had let her take up this assignment without proper intel, without the knowledge of what she was really doing.

"Captain Gates? Are you still there?"

"Yes," she whispers back, still dumbstruck at the sight of Kate's body, "Yes, I'm here."

"What do you want me to do, sir?"

"I want you to check traffic cam footage in and around Scarsdale National Park, I want you to find that address that she tried to text us and after you've done that you can tell the head of Narcotics that he's responsible for the death of one of my people," She's yelling by the end, losing her calm demeanour that she almost always had about her.

Kate was dead.

And there was nothing that any of them could do to change that.

* * *

Esposito sees her body before Castle does.

He sees Ryan's tear streaked face as he scribbles down notes furiously, anger the only thing fuelling him.

He sees Gates standing next to her, tears slipping silently down her cheeks, her need to take control completely diminished as she stands there, looking more hopeless than Esposito had ever seen.

And then he sees her, still dressed in the clothes that she had worn three days ago when he had wished her luck on her case. His breathing becomes heavy and tears spring to his eyes, he clenches his teeth together. He can't let Castle see this.

* * *

Castle knows that it's true when Esposito blocks him from trying to see the crime scene.

"Let me see her," he says, his voice cracking.

"Bro, that's not a good idea," Esposito says, his voice high pitched.

"Stop," Castle says, "Zito let me through."

Castle shoves Esposito aside, desperate to see her, just for confirmation, just to know if it's true.

And it is.

"Kate," his voice his a soft whimper, "No," he whispers, his voice cracking, "No, Kate! No!"

He doesn't care about evidence, he doesn't care about the fact that the body must be left untouched until the M.E said so. He falls to his knees and gathers her up into his arms. Her head lolling sideways and soaking his coat in blood as he pressed his head to hers as he shook with unshed tears.

He can't breathe.

He can't make a sound.

All he can do is sit there with her in his arms, hoping, wishing that she would wake up. Willing her to live.

But it was too late for that.

"Don't leave me!" he screams, finally finding his voice as people pulled at his arms and body. He doesn't care. He just wants them all to go, he wants them all to leave him alone, "Kate, please." He whimpers, pressing his lips to her forehead, above the bullet hole. She's soaking wet and her hair is matted with blood from the exit wound in the back of her head.

"I love you," he says, his body still shaking as tears flow down his face, "I love you so much, please Kate don't leave me."

But it's too late.

She's already left.

* * *

In the three days it takes for them to find the place that Kate was taken to, the inhabitants have packed up and moved along. Leaving no evidence.

In the three days following her death, Castle doesn't move from his spot on the sofa. He can't bring himself to care anymore. She was gone. Dead. Murdered, and the people who killed her were nowhere to be found.

And now he was living in a constant hell. The bridal magazines and the fonts for their save the date's still sit on the coffee table, taunting him, reminding him of how he will never be able to say his vows and put a ring on her finger.

She's gone.

And he may as well be too.

Alexis tries to help, but Castle can tell that she's hurting just as bad as him. Kate was her friend as well as soon to be step mother, she was someone she could confide in.

There is a rap on the door and Castle hears Alexis move from the kitchen to answer it. He doesn't care who it is, not unless it's her. He hears voices in the hallway, not alert enough to recognise either, although he assumes that one must be his daughters.

"Bro?"

Castle looks up reflexively as he hears the term of endearment. He sees them standing there, one half of their team. A team that was now constantly only three quarters full.

He can't even bring himself to say hello.

"CSU swept the place," Ryan says softly, sitting down on the couch opposite Castle's.

"Let me guess," he says, his voice broken and void of emotion, "Nothing."

Ryan shakes his head and nods to Esposito who pulls something out of his jacket pocket and hands it to Castle.

"It's addressed to you," he says softly.

Castle's breath catches in his throat as he looks at his name written in her familiar handwriting.

"It was wedged inside the air vent," Ryan says, "Don't worry, nobody's read it…" he adds hastily as Castle's eyes brim with tears.

"We'll let you be now, bro," Esposito says, "Also, Gates wants your consent to start to plan a funeral."

Castle nods, his heart constricting as he heard those words. _Funeral_. It drove an unspeakable sense of foreboding into his heart.

The boys leave, he hears them thank Alexis on the way out.

He fondles the letter in his hand, tears making their way slowly down his face. He unfolds the crisp paper with shaking hands, a sob escaping his lips as he saw her writing on the page. He didn't know if he could bring himself to read. But as he ran his fingers over the letters, he felt like she was closer to him.

_Dear Rick,_

_I don't know how much time I have, even to write this letter. What I do know now is that I'm in this and the only way I'm going to make it out alive is to see this through. I'm sure everyone is looking for me and if they figure out I was here, CSU is going to search this house. They're going to look for blood and they will find it. Which will lead them to this letter. Babe, it's your letter and I hope you never have to read this and I can tell you all these things in person, but if something happens and I don't make it, I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship, is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. You're an amazing man, and I love you with all my heart._

_Always._

He puts a hand over his mouth as he draws in shuddering breaths, tears flowing thick and fast now. He was never meant to read this letter. It was written _just in case_. She thought she was going to get out, she thought she was going to come home to him.

His sobs are audible now as he looks down at the very last word, tracing over it with his index finger, he shuts his eyes and tries to forget about this situation. He remembers the first time she told him she loved him, he remembers every time she's teased him, he remembers all of the times they'd kissed, all of the times that they'd hugged, all of the times he'd held her when she missed her mom.

"I love you Kate," he whispers, folding the letter and pressing it to his lips, "Always."

* * *

**AN: **_Its 1am and goddamnit plotbunnies. Anyway, this episode was the most emotionally traumatising thing and basically I thought "how can I make this more emotionally traumatising?" and then this happened. Yeah. Oh also obviously, she wasn't taken to a fricken National Park and I don't even know if Scarsdale has a national park... I'm Australian I barely know where the US states are. But yeah that's intentional seeing as they were only referred to as 'the woods" in the episode._

_I'd love it if you could leave me some feedback as to what you thought_

_DFTBA_

_Nayla xx_


End file.
